Chapter Three

The night of Hilary’s funeral, just like every other since I’d been back, Dad poked his head around the door before taking himself off to bed. I shifted over, and he sat beside me. I hadn’t noticed before, but he looked old and tired, and a creeping feeling started in my heart. ‘I’m proud of you,’ he said softly, so as not to wake Ashleigh. ‘You’ve grown into an insightful young woman.’

It was strange to hear him call me a woman. But nice, and warmth swelled in my chest, almost, but not quite pushing my anxiety aside.

He brushed a strand of hair from my face. ‘All these years I’ve watched you struggle, the close calls, the back and forth to hospital, and … it should never have been. Today I realised the truth of you and there’s no going back. It makes me feel guilty for ever wanting to keep you here.’

I blinked to stop the prickle in my eyes. ‘I wouldn’t change a single thing.’

‘I know, but still … I’m an ordinary man, a little creaky round the joints. Just a council draftsman. But you, love, are royalty.’

‘Dad.’ I moved close. He lay a hand on my shoulder and carried on. ‘The problem is I think you believe it’s about Leif— whohe was born to be. But it’s not, it’s aboutyou. It’s the truth inside you … That you’re also my daughter makes me feel privileged.’

I looked up. His eyes sparkled in the little bit of light coming into my room. ‘I want you to know who you are, Amy-Marla. When you go back to Faera, I want you to be who you were born to be. There’s nothing to stop you now.’

I held his eyes with mine. ‘But … how do I do that?’

He bent and kissed my hair. ‘Love, it’s as easy as stepping into life instead of stepping away.’

After he left, Dad’s words swam in my mind. He wanted me to involve myself in life instead of withdrawing from it like I’d always done on Earth. He wanted me to be brave enough to stop holding back. I didn’t need Leif or anyone else for that. And hadn’t I told Jack that’s exactly what I wanted—to be enough all on my own?

I lay awake imagining it. A new me—confident and capable. The kind of girl who knew what she wanted and how to go out and get it. Could I be that girl? That woman? I didn’t know. I’d spent my whole life being looked after—by my family, my doctors, Jack … Hilary.

‘Must feel good to be sospecial.’

My sister’s quiet words pulled me from myself abruptly. She’d been listening to my conversation with Dad. ‘We thought you were asleep.’

‘Well I wasn’t.’

‘You should have said.’

‘Why? So Dad could lie and say how proud he is of me too?’ Resentment rose from her like steam from asphalt on a scorching day.

‘Heis proud of you.’

‘What for? I’m just a dropout who washes hair for a living. Notroyalty like you.’

‘It won’t always be like that. When you start your apprenticeship, things will be better.’

She held up a hand, pale fingers wriggling in the starlight. ‘I’m getting dermatitis. There are these itchy, scaly bits between my fingers. Did you notice?’ Her hand dropped back down with a thud. ‘We’ve traded places.’

The bitterness in her voice tore at my chest. ‘Why don’t you go back to school, Ash? You’reso clever. You could do anything you want.’

‘What I want is to go back to Faera.’

I couldn’t even think about that. Not after Hilary. ‘It’s too dangerous.’

‘Life’s dangerous …cars are dangerous.’

I lay still, the night heavy around me, my tongue burning to tell her the truth. I heard the creak of the bed and rustle of covers as she changed position. She faced me in the dark. ‘It makes me sick to think if Hilary had stayed in Faera, she’d still be alive.’

Her eyes glimmered and a lump clogged up my throat. If Hilary hadn’tgone to Faera, she’d be alive. And it had been my idea. If I hadn’t suggested it when her godparents moved interstate, my best friend would still be alive. The truth of it clung to me; a nightmare from which I couldn’t awake. Despite the warm night, I started to shiver.

Ashleigh persisted. ‘How can you even say Faera’s too dangerous after what happened right here?’

It was too much. Like a river bursting through a dam the truth spilled out. ‘It wasn’t a car accident and it didn’t happen here. Shadow Fae attacked the castle after Lysander’s allegiance ceremony. There were five Shadow Kings. Leif and his father killed four of them.’ I took a deep breath. ‘But before that, the fifth killed Hilary, and nearly Leif too.’ A rush of grief swelled in my chest and I almost choked on my next words. ‘I’m not even sure he’ll be okay.’

Eventually Ashleigh spoke. ‘That’s why he wasn’t at the funeral.’

‘Yeah.’ My voice was just a whisper in the stillness of the night.

‘Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.’

I wondered how she could sound so sure. ‘He’s in a coma.’ I wiped my eyes with my fingers.

Ashleigh raised herself up on an elbow. ‘How do you know there were only five?’

‘Because I heard it from one of them.’

Her eyes were round like saucers. ‘What?How?’

I hesitated, but she pushed the point and I gave in, telling her of my time in Dark Faera—how after discovering our birth mother’s soul had been lost to Rual, the Dark King, Lysander and I had gone to find her, almost losing our own souls in the process. I explained that while we were there, we met the Shadow King, Daigen, and learned he had four brothers—all conceived within a few months of each other.

‘So, you only have this Daigen’s word there were five?’

‘Yes, but he only spoke in front of me and Lysander because he didn’t know who we were, and only after Rual convinced him that neither of us would be returning to Faera.’

‘I have to go back.’ Her words were the last I expected and the insistence in them was terrifying.

‘Youcan’t. I only told you what happened so you’d know why.’

‘But the Shadow Kings aredead. It would be perfectly safe. Besides, I’d be careful.’

‘You were sneaking out at night the last time you were there. That’snot being careful.’

‘I was just messing with you when I told you that.’

I gave her a look I knew she couldn’t see. ‘No you weren’t, you were meeting up with Rowan.’

‘Claudette tell you that?’

I admitted she had, and expected Ashleigh to go on a rant about Claudette’s big mouth, but she only said, ‘So, now you know about me and Rowan, you should understand why I want to go back.’

‘There’s no future for you with him, Ash … He’ll only leave you for his betrothed.’ It was harsh but true.

But there wasn’t a speck of concern in her voice when she said, ‘Yeah, but not yet. And ifI don’t care then why should you?’

‘I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you only started this thing with him to get at Lysander.’

‘You don’t know anything. The thing with Rowan’s got nothing to do with your stupid brother.’ Ashleigh’s voice was cold and tight. ‘I hope he and Claudette are happy together.’

‘Lysander said—’

‘Don’t talk to me about them,’ Ashleigh said before I could get another word out.

Ihad been about to tell her that Lysander still hadn’t heard the name of his betrothed, that my twin and Claudette were close because they’d been friends on Earth years before either had discovered they were Fae. Of course, Claudette loved to hint there was more to the relationship, but I wasn’t about to mention that to Ashleigh.

‘Fine, but do you really think after what happened to Hilary, I’d be okay with you going to Faera?’ I swallowed. ‘She wouldn’t have even been there if it weren’t for me.’

Ashleigh’s voice was low and steady. ‘Not everything’s about you. I get how you think it is and everything, but it’s really not.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Well, you’ve always been at the centre of everything, haven’t you? I can still hear Mum. “Sorry Ash, we have to skip the Gold Coast, Amy’s sick again. Ashleigh, take that perfume outside immediately, do you want to put your sister in hospital? Ash, go get me that big bag of cotton wool, Amy needs to be wrapped up again.”’

‘Must have been annoying.’

‘It was all I knew.’ I could hear the shrug in her voice....