CHAPTER 3
THE MATCHMAKING

First morning in the new house.

They say whatever you dream on your first night is meant to come true, which did not comfort me, because mine involved several Lords flailing about on a sinking rubber dinghy, Brian holding up the plug he had just pulled out, and Fraser bellowing Scottish words so colourful my subconscious bleeped them.

I found the kettle after a fair bit of rummaging and unearthed the tin of green tea. Most of the place was still a mess. Boxes everywhere. Furniture in places no furniture should be. But I could make tea, which meant civilisation had not entirely abandoned me.

I filled the kettle, remembered I was out of almond milk, and then realised I had no idea where to buy any. The joys of moving house.

Brian disappeared to the café, determined to find something vegan for breakfast and probably charm a cinnamon bun out of someone. That left me digging through half-unpacked boxes.

Priorities, though. Tea first.

I waited for the kettle, watching the steam climb from the spout, until my phone rang.

I found it under a heap of wrapping paper and two ugly vases. My aunt Theodora gave me those, so I had wrapped them with care. If she ever visits Scotland and notices one missing, I will have to leave the country.

The caller ID said 'DC Murray'.

"Morning, DC Murray," I answered, wedging the phone between my ear and shoulder while I reached for a mug.

"Ms Snowdon! Joana! Just the person I've been trying to reach!" His voice sounded cheerful enough."Had my fingers twisted that you'd pick up on the third ring."

I smiled. Murray had not changed."Maybe you had your fingers crossed?"

"That's the bunny! Anyway, can't tell you how delighted we all are that you're living in Scotland now! Though the chief's a bit worried you'll raise the murder ratio. Says dead bodies follow you like rats to a candle."

I poured hot water over my tea bag."That's hardly fair. In this particular case, I was minding my own business until DCI Fraser appeared at my door."

"Fair point well struck! That's actually why I'm calling. Lord Montgomery is expecting you and Brian today. Wants to tell you everything about the soirées and the poor souls who've shuffled off this moral coil."

"Mortal coil," I muttered, watching my tea darken."And today? We've barely arrived. I've still got boxes everywhere."

"Chief says, and I'm quoting directly now, 'Tell Snowdon and her sidekick to get to Craigenthistle Castle immediately. The investigation won't wait while she decides where to put her teaspoons.'"

"That does sound like Fraser." I looked around at my barely organised new home and sighed."Charming as ever."

"He also said you should pack an overnight bag. Lord Montgomery's offering rooms at the castle. Very posh, I hear. Four-poster beds and all that faff."

I held the mug with both hands."We're meant to stay there?"

"Chief thinks it'll help you insinuate yourselves into the aristocratic jungle. His words, not mine! Though I did suggest 'hornet's nest' might be more appropriate, given the circumstances."

"Right." I took a sip of tea and mourned the quiet unpacking day I had planned."Tell Fraser we'll be there. Text me the address, will you?"

"Already done! It's not rocket science to find, just follow the road until you see a massive castle on the cliffs. Can't miss it unless you've got your eyes in backwards."

After hanging up, I stood among my boxes, tea in hand, and wondered how I had gone from planning a quiet day with teaspoons to preparing to sleep in a castle attached to two suspicious deaths.

Brian returned just as I was zipping up an overnight bag.

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