Sir Oswald Paddock thought his big break had finally arrived. After 312 days of 'temporary administrative leave,' he's been summoned to the palace for an urgent quest. He was ready. He was prepared.

He was the backup's backup.

When Sir Darian the Dazzling-the actual hero-runs off with the quest funds and the only accurate map, the Crown is left with whoever showed up. That would be Oswald, bearer of a sword he once dropped on an archbishop's foot, wearer of armour that squeaks like a tortured cat, and owner of a family crest that now looks less like a noble frog and more like a diseased waterfowl attempting interpretive dance.

His team isn't any better.

There's Grub, an ogre philosopher who refuses to fight but has very strong opinions about ethical frameworks. Lillipip, a fairy with rainbow hair, sticky fingers, and a talent for 'creative acquisition' of anything not nailed down. And Smoky, a dragon who provides excellent sarcasm and absolutely no aerial reconnaissance. Heights are a sensitive subject.

Together, they must retrieve the legendary Dewdrop of Dawn before the Stone Sovereign's curse turns the entire kingdom into very detailed garden statuary. No pressure. Just the fate of civilization resting on a knight who set fire to his own training grounds, a pacifist ogre, a kleptomaniac fairy, and a dragon who'd rather walk, thanks.

The quest protocol never covered this.

Perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett, T.J. Klune, and anyone who's ever felt like the last choice for literally everything.

The Knight School Dropouts is a standalone humorous fantasy novella in The Chronically Chaotic Chronicles, featuring found family, reluctant heroes, and the firm belief that there's more than one way to save the world.