CHAPTER TWO
Levi had gotten good at showing up.
The showing up wasn't the hard part anymore. The hard part was staying present once he'd arrived. But Levi had learned to fake presence well enough that most people couldn't tell the difference, and the ones who could—Cole, Sadie, Rita—had stopped calling him on it months ago. They'd learned, the way you learned to navigate around a broken step on a staircase, to work around the shape of him without expecting him to be whole.
Soundcheck at The Southern in Charlottesville was at three o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, which meant Levi had been awake since dawn, staring at the ceiling of his bunk on the tour bus and trying to remember why he'd agreed to this tour in the first place.
The answer, when he found it, was always the same: because the band needed it. Because the label was getting restless. Because sitting still in his Nashville apartment had started to feel like drowning, and at least on the road he was drowning in motion.
He rolled out of the bunk, careful not to wake Joel in the bunk below, and made his way to the front lounge. The bus was parked behind The Southern, power running from the venue's loading dock. Morning light filtered through the tinted windows, turning everything amber and soft. Cole was already up, sitting at the small table with a cup of coffee and his phone, scrolling through something that made him frown.
"Morning," Levi said, his voice rough from sleep.
Cole looked up."It's one in the afternoon, Lee. But sure. Morning." He poured a second cup of coffee from the pot on the counter and slid it across the table."Sleep okay?"
"Fine." Levi took the coffee, black and too hot, and let it burn his tongue. The burn was grounding."What time's Tyler want us for soundcheck?"
"Three. We've got time." Cole set his phone down."You eat?"
"Not yet."
"There's catering at the venue. Sadie already scoped it out. Said it's decent."
Levi nodded. Food was something he did because other people noticed when he didn't. He'd learned to eat enough to avoid the concerned looks, the gentle suggestions that he take care of himself, as if taking care of himself were something he'd simply forgotten to do instead of something he'd actively stopped caring about.
"How was Friday night?" Cole asked. The question was casual, but Cole didn't do casual. Every question from Cole was a diagnostic test, checking to see if Levi was functional or if the machine was breaking down again.
"Fine. Good crowd."
"You changed the bridge in 'Two A.M. Drive.'"
"Yeah. Felt right."
"It was good." Cole took a sip of his coffee."You've been messing with the arrangements a lot this tour."
Levi shrugged."Trying to find my way back into them."
"Working?"
"Sometimes."
Cole was quiet for a moment, the kind of quiet that meant he was choosing his words carefully."Tyler's sister was at the show. Grace. Did you meet her?"
"Briefly. In the green room." Levi didn't mention the moment during"Hollow Ground" when he'd looked into the wings and found her watching him. Didn't mention the way her face had been open, unguarded, like she'd forgotten she was supposed to pretend she wasn't seeing the thing underneath the performance.
"She's coming to today's show too," Cole said."Tyler really wanted her to see the tour. He's proud of the work he's doing."
"He should be. He's a good engineer."
"He is." Cole paused."Grace seems nice."
Levi looked up. Cole was watching him with the particular expression he wore when he was trying to help without pushing. It was the same expression he'd worn two years ago when he'd shown up at Levi's apartment three days after Emma's funeral and found Levi still in the same clothes, still sitting in the same chair, still staring at the same wall.
"I'm sure she is," Levi said evenly.
"Tyler says she's a hospice social worker. That's... intense work."
"Yeah."
"You talked to her about it?"
"Cole." Levi set his coffee down."What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Just making conversation."
"You don't make conversation. You make strategic inquiries disguised as conversation."
Cole smiled slightly."Fair. I just thought—she seems like someone you could talk to. If you wanted."
"I don't."
"Okay." Cole picked up his phone again, signaling the end of the interrogation."Soundcheck at three. Don't be late."
Levi finished his coffee in silence and retreated to the back lounge, where his guitar was waiting. The Martin D-28, bought with the advance from *Glass Highway*, was the only thing in Levi's life that still felt like it belonged to him. Everything else—the band, the music, the touring, the apartments in Nashville and Asheville—felt borrowed. Temporary. Like he was a guest in his own life and the real owner would eventually come back and ask him to leave.
But the guitar was his. He pick
