: Poppy Oddwood
: How to Train Your Demonic Goat Retired Witch, Demonic Goat: A Whimsical Tale of Magical Mayhem
: Publishdrive
: 9781917655477
: 1
: CHF 2.30
:
: Comic, Cartoon, Humor, Satire
: English
: 126
: DRM
: PC/MAC/eReader/Tablet
: ePUB

Whe retired witch Hester Peppin offers a digestive biscuit to a shivering demonic goat on her doorstep, she doesn't expect to end up magically bound to him for life. But in the sleepy village of Whimble-on-the-Wold, even the most innocent acts of kindness can have supernatural consequences.


Bugs (formerly Junior Tempter Class-C, Seventh Circle Administrative District) just wants to belong somewhere. Hester just wants to tend her prize roses in peace. Instead, they find themselves navigating infernal bureaucracy, nosy neighbors, and the suspicions of the village when Bugs' chaotic magic results in talking plants and teacake imps.


As the Ministry of Magical Affairs threatens to dissolve their accidental partnership, Hester and Bugs discover that something ancient and malevolent stirs beneath the village-something that has been feeding on Hester's fear and isolation for twenty years. With the help of unlikely allies including Hester's nemesis Millicent Parble, they must forge a true partnership to save Whimble-on-the-Wold from an ancient evil.


Warm, witty, and wonderfully British, 'How to Train Your Demonic Goat' is a charming tale of found family, second chances, and the magic of belonging.

CHAPTER 1


 

The secateurs snipped with satisfying precision, removing a wilting bloom from the prize-winning Constance Spry climbing rose. Hester examined the incision point with professional approval before dropping the spent flower into her willow trug. The morning air held that perfect June balance between dew-cooled promise and impending warmth, carrying the complex perfume of a hundred rose varieties mingling with lavender from the border. Bees hummed industriously in the nearby hives, their familiar drone as much part of Rose Cottage's tranquil soundtrack as the distant bleating of Farmer Evans's flock on the downs.

"See this, you freeloading feline?" Hester addressed the grey tabby sprawled in a patch of sunlight near the compost heap."Dead-heading encourages fresh growth. Unlike certain creatures who encourage nothing but demands for sardines."

The Cat, who had occupied Hester's garden shed for three years despite her steadfast refusal to name it or acknowledge ownership beyond occasional scraps, merely stretched one white-socked paw and blinked slowly. Its green eyes held that infuriating expression of detached amusement Hester had long suspected concealed supernatural intelligence. Or possibly contempt for human horticultural efforts. With cats, it was difficult to tell.

She adjusted her glasses, the chain rattling against her cardigan as she leaned closer to inspect a cluster of aphids colonising a fresh shoot."Persistent little blighters," she muttered, reaching for the spray bottle of homemade garlic solution. Twenty years of magical retirement hadn't cured her of talking to the wildlife, though these days her conversations leaned more toward pest control than incantations. The cat's ears suddenly swivelled forward, body tensing from lazy sprawl to alert observation. A low growl vibrated in its throat, fur rising along its spine.

Hester frowned, following its gaze toward the cottage. The air thickened, carrying a faint but distinct whiff of sulphur beneath the roses. The lavender at her feet visibly wilted."Oh, not today," she sighed, irritation warring with professional curiosity. Peaceful Tuesdays were hard-won commodities in her seventies, especially after a lifetime of unexpected magical disruptions. She'd earned her quiet mornings with the roses and the bees. The cat stood, tail lashing, eyes fixed on the front doorstep where the air shimmered like heat haze over tarmac.

The sulphur smell intensified, undercut now by something earthier, like damp wool. The shimmer condensed, coalescing into a shape that resolved itself with alarming solidity on her neatly swept flagstones. Hester's secateurs hung forgotten at her side. Sitting on her welcome mat was a goat. Not Farmer Evans's sturdy, grass-munching variety, but a creature of midnight-black fleece that seemed to absorb the morning light. Its elegant spiralling horns bore faintly glowing runes, and its amber eyes held an intelligence far beyond any barnyard animals. Most disconcertingly, it appeared to be shivering despite the morning's mildness, steam rising faintly from its flanks.

"Well," Hester said, because someone had to say something, and The Cat was currently arching its back and hissing with impressive vitriol."This is new." She took a cautious step forward, the gravel crunching under her sensible brogues. The creature regarded her with a mixture of profound misery and cautious hope. A parchment scroll tied with crimson ribbon materialised beside it, landing with a soft thump that stirred dust motes in the sunlight. Addressed in elaborate script to"The One Who Knows."

The cat darted behind the water butt, peering out with wide eyes. Hester ignored it, her attention fixed on the pitiful