Chapter 1
The fairy tale
The world stopped turning on November 17, 2004. Life as I knew it stopped and I would never be the same. This is the day my nightmare began, but the beginning of my story started much earlier.
The way we were . . .
I am the youngest of five girls, from an extremely close Irish-Italian family. If I learned nothing else in my childhood, I learned that my family would always be there for me. I once attended a workshop where we were supposed to reflect on our own lives and think of three things we learned in childhood that we carried through our adult life. Although many people struggled with the question, I found it quite easy to answer. (1) Family comes first. Trust those you hold dear. (2) Be yourself. And (3) you can do anything, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t. I never knew how much these values were intertwined in my everyday life, but now as I look back, I am proud that I passed on these same values to my four children. I believe all these things have saved my life . . .
My husband Gary’s childhood was very different from mine. Where my family was loud, boisterous, and open with their emotions, Gary’s was quiet and passive. He is the youngest of two children, with one sister who is four years older than him. He has some cousins that he spent time with when they were younger. I was surrounded by four sisters, many cousins, and a large extended family. Family functions always packed the house. My family hugged and kissed upon arrival. His family was much more reserved. Our family dynamics were different, and my family brought out a sentimental, emotional side of Gary that his own family might have never known about. Still, we both knew our parents loved us very much, and our children were very lucky to have two sets of grandparents who loved them unconditionally.
I grew up, went to college, met and married my best friend Gary, and together we made a life that created enough good memories to carry us through a lifetime.
TheBrandts
The life Gary and I built was perfect. We were young when we got married, bought our first house, got our first yellow lab, and started our family. Gretchen was born on March 29, 1988. I could have picked her out of 100 babies in the hospital. She looked exactly like Gary, and she now shared his initials, GMB. Our first son Joey was born in 1990, then Troy in 1992. Our youngest son, Kyle, was born in 1994, when Gretchen was 6 years old. Our family was complete with our four children and our yellow lab Dexter.
Our friends saw me as a mom and teacher who loved being around children. Our friends saw Gary as a gentle giant, quiet and laid back, but maybe a bit intimidating being 6’4”. They knew him as a family man who would do anything for anyone. He could fix anything or come up with a solution for any problem. I have always known him as a strong, dependable guy who I would always be able to count on and someone who loved us all through the good, the bad, and the ugly. He was and always has been my best friend and my children were lucky to have such an attentive, involved dad. We needed all these sides of Gary in the rough