CHAPTER ONE

IT HAD OFFICIALLY been authorized. The place I called home was now a licensed foster care residence thanks to my parents, who ignored all advice imploring them not to do it. Relatives and friends alike did not want us biological kids to become collateral damage in my parents’ crazy do-gooder experiment—or at least that’s more or less what my sister and I gathered from the muttered conversations we overheard.

On the one hand, I felt proud of my parents’ courage, but on the other, I did not want to share my home with strangers. Mom said I had a choice, but even back then, at five years old, I felt sure there was a correct answer. So, I gave them an enthusiastic, “Yes, I want to be a foster brother!” complete with a thumbs-up and toothy smile.

My sister Annabelle, three years younger than me and tough as nails since day one, looked on while she played with a pile of blocks. She copied my confident smile and nodded her head. I knew she understood even less about what was going on than I did, but she seemed to take everything with a grain of salt. The smile was the same one Annabelle had when Mom handed her a fruit popsicle after dinner or when she showed off her bloody knee after an epic Power Wheels crash. I was glad she was there though and silently hoped that if kids really did come stay with us, they would be more interested in her toys than mine.

Later, my parents sat me down for a serious conversation. My mother paused, her voice wavering as she spoke. “Son, this will hurt; it won’t be easy. Despite that, we must try to love our neighbors as ourselves. We will give them a family, and once we bring them in, you will be their brother always—no matter what.”

I stared at Mom’s watery eyes and nodded. She seemed aware of realities I would not understand until much later. My parents were choosing to allow suffering into my life—suffering that I wouldn’t have to go through if I weren’t a biological child in a foster family. Yes, I faced many hardships in this role I found myself filling. As it turned out, I would never be the same again—nor would I want to.

Not long after our talk, my parents carefully placed a newly typed list titled “Boundaries” on top of the stack of forms the Department of Children and Families (DCF) had provided. It was a painstakingly detailed document of restrictions: no infants, no teenagers, no youth with a history of violence or acting out sexually, no medically needy kids, only one child at a time. The list outlining our needs and expectations for fostering went on for pages. I could not help but feel anxious as my parents handed it all over to the social worker for processing.

But I barely had time to worry before our phone started ringing; on the other end of the line, frightened children sat next to workers waiting for a “yes.” The boundaries document, which had been meticulously thought out to protect our family, ultimately proved to be a clear waste of ink. DCF contacted us about any child—or children—in need of immediate support, regardless of whether they fit the boundaries we tried to establish. The list turned out to look more like a blueprint for the children who would become brothers and sisters to me. We quickly, and unexpectedly, fell in love with them all.

The first call that came in was abrupt, and the sound of screaming pierced through the speakerphone when Mom answered. It hurt my ears, and I wished she would turn it down. Instead, Mom stood pale-faced, staring at her phone like she had not just signed up for this. As the person on the other end of the line spoke, the hum of car engines and tires rolling over asphalt could be heard in the background. The worker explained that she was sitting on the side of the highway. Baby Ray’s parents had been arrested after a drug-infused brawl, and the newborn was dirty and hungry. She stated that although he was two months old, baby Ray had just been discharged from the hospital the day before due to hospital standards requiring him to weigh at least four pounds before he could go home.

My mind swirled; I did not understand how a baby who had just entered this world and who had bee