Prelude

The landscape of marriage and family is very diverse today, and there are many reasons for this. We will try to make a brief mention of some family variables that different readers will have, keeping in mind that some people who purchase this book will have already had marriages end in divorce or death, while some have just recently gotten engaged and are hoping to start out on the right foot. While we can’t fix what has already been broken, knowing why we have struggles and what makes our marriages so unique can help.

We will look at a few of the common factors couples have as they come into marriage and explore some of the reasons why we approach things the way we do. This is a book that would have been very helpful for us when we first got married, since most of the resources then were pretty outdated and seemed to be unrealistic. But this book is also very practical and informative for those who, like us today, have been married for quite some time. What we are saying is that, wherever you are on your marriage journey, you’re going to love this book!

Some Common Factors

Marriage has regularly been respected and found to be essential in most every culture throughout time, yet there are things anyone getting married will have to tackle. Here are a few of them:

Preconceived Ideas about Marriage. Usually, both people have an idea of what a marriage is supposed to look like. In the past, it was what they saw modeled by their parents, but today the media and certainly Hollywood are instead laying a foundation for the couple at an early age, setting expectations for not only the big day itself, but for marital life. This needs to be addressed even before the couple say “I do” in order to have a healthy marriage.

Our Brokenness, Weakness, and Emptiness (Baggage). Every man and woman entering into marriage brings a lot more to the union than clothes and furnishings. Each person has a past, and skeletons hidden in the closet have an uncanny way of making appearances at very awkward moments. Spouses need to be aware of the lives lived before they are united in matrimony if they plan to have a marriage that endures the test of time.

Societal and Religious Expectations. Every marriage is impacted by societal and religious expectations, even if the couple does not adhere to those religious tenets. If you are Catholic and suddenly decide to marry someone who is Jewish, we can guarantee that you will find yourself having certain difficult conversations with extended family members. If you are in a society that places a lot of importance on your elders, and you suddenly have a ceremony without their being given proper respect, it is going to cause a certain amount of distress.