Hopes

As a father, what are your greatesthopes
and fears for yourchildren?

Casey

When it comes to fatherhood, one can only imagine the hopes and fears we have for our children. We have visions of how things will be, how things will go, and how we ll handle situations as we arise as bachelors. However, the intensity of those thoughts and emotions manifest in an instant when your partner shows you that positive pregnancy test! After the excitement subdues, reality setsin.

The fears hitfirst.

The first fear is that of a healthy baby and healthy delivery for baby and momma when that time comes. My wife and I were two for three on baby making; our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage early on. This was one of the most difficult situations I had experienced in my life. My first kiddo, the dreams I had of becoming a father, the made up stories of all my kiddo s successes and achievements in my head, all rippedaway.

The pain. The tears. The anger. I felt as if I was defective; that my DNA was not good enough to pass on. Or that it was a sign that I would not be a good father. Having these thoughts and emotions made it difficult to console my wife. I detached because it hurtthatbad.

After some time, we both decided it was time to try again. When the test was positive, the fear of reliving another miscarriage never left my mind until I held my firstborn in my arms. It was a girl, and she was healthy. Two years later, we welcomed our second; another healthy girl (after 4 hours in the NICU).

The fears changed from healthy baby/delivery to doing enough and being a good father. That fear remained strong in the back of my mind. Do my kids know how much I love them? Am I being a great father? Am I doing enough to foster a positive relationship so they both can turn to me in the future? Will they come to me in times of need? Will theylove me? Those types of thoughts were plentiful. However, those are moreinternal.

I fear for both my children s well-being as they g