My mother nodded in agreement.

“Father, do you really think it’s correct to look at it from only one perspective? See, who would be interested in looking at this registry for no reason at all? That’s not even possible, not for just anyone. By no means is it an open registry.”

“That’s most likely correct. But why do they have to say it like that? Not just that, this sentence has been checked off with a handwritten annotation. As proof that it was actually done.”

I didn’t want to say anything else. I felt that it was important to give him time to reflect on it. I was aware that in his memories, an official registration did not always coincide with well-meant intentions. Any explanation or contradiction would have caused him to expend even more thoughts on it. Several days later, I brought up the topic again. As I suspected, his initially negative attitude had disappeared. He had realized that the registration was purely a statistical necessity.

Two days later we received mail from the hospital. The letter informed us of some of the appointments for the upcoming therapy and confirmed the other appointments. It also reiterated the required preparations. Two days before admission to the oncology department, the target sites for the radiation had to be determined. It was re-emphasized as being very important. Because prior to the radiation, the body had to be marked with the most suitable entry sites for the beams. Only a little less than a week remained until the day of admission. Sufficient time to handle the important personal matters.

The day of hospital admission had arrived. Since the marking of the radiation target sites, I had noticed that my father was showing increased nervousness. Together with my mother, we drove to the hospital. We did not have to get in line at the central reception desk. As we had done two weeks earlier, we walked directly to the oncology department. Nothing about it had changed, despite the construction work.

“See, father, the walk is the same. Just like last time. That’s already an indication of how things will go. Our preliminary consultation was pleasant. And that’s how everything else will continue.”

Naturally, humans perceive an objective as more pleasant when it lies in the future. An objective looks different, however, when it lies directly ahead. I think everyone can understand that. A task is to be accomplished. There’s enough time ahead of us. Our feelings are relatively neutral. Suddenly, the task is directly in front of us. We reflect on our recent ideas and plans. While we had them on our mind, we felt strong enough to tackle the challenge. But when we realize the urgency of the task, uncertainty takes over. This is not caused by unstable self-assurance or lack of self-confidence. Rather, it is characterized by the evanescence of time – which we suddenly realize.

We arrived at the reception desk in the oncology department. My father handed over his documents. The receptionist asked for his health insurance card and invited us to sit. Shortly afterward, we were called into the assistant medical director’s office. Using my father’s patient documents, she confirmed everything with us one more time. We agreed. Together, we went through the information and explanations regarding the upcoming chemotherapy. My father had one more question, pertaining to only one of the side effects. Would his hair fall out forever, he wanted to know. Concerning each sid