Ruminating makes you unproductive: against pessimism and catastrophic anxiety
// BySimone Janson
Thinking is generally something very positive, because you can come up with new ideas and solve problems. But you can not just talk things over but also think things over - and do not stop pondering. How to turn this off, you will learn here.
Checklist: Do you ponder your problems?
A small checklist to start with. Are you also trying to break up and ponder your problems? This little checklist will help you:
- "What if ...","Couldn't have ...","Could I ..." - do many of your thoughts start with such sentences?
- Rolling a thought from right to left for hours, not being able to stop is not that strange to you?
- And do you tend to worry excessively about things but not change anything?
Then you might be a thinkaholic. Is that bad? Theoretically no. But in practice you should read on.
Healthy Thinking or Thinkaholism?
Before misunderstandings arise: Thinking is not a bad thing. On the contrary, in many cases it helps perfectionists to take a deep breath and to hold on. If this thinking leads to a result or is completed at some point, there is nothing to be said. Also, that you occasionally worry and worry about important things is normal and certainly familiar to you: will the project be finished in time? Will the important meeting lead to the result? Is my job safe despite the economic crisis?
It is crucial that the thinking follows a targeted action. If you are concerned that you will not be able to finish a project on time, you should consider whether you have really done everything to successfully complete it. If you are afraid that you will not be able to convince your colleagues or employees of your idea in the meeting, you should review your arguments again. And even if you think you can't change the current economic situation: instead of crawling around in your office and working fearfully and stubbornly in the typical perfectionist manner, you could work just as well to ensure that you work with your outstanding ones Skills in the company are perceived even more clearly and thus secure your job.
Be careful when aiming in circles
However, if you are not thinking productively, but are pondering around aimlessly without acting, if you are constantly worried about something that you cannot change anyway, then thinking becomes an end in itself. They just can't stop pondering and in extreme cases they even become completely unable to act. Thinkaholism emerges - and a real vicious cycle begins, from which they can no longer get out so easily.
"I understand that too" you might say. Because you have probably already noticed yourself that you think about something too long. And you feel that it's pretty irrational behavior. Your friends or colleagues may have already drawn your attention to this tick. Or simply to say, exasperated:"Stop the pondering!" You probably know that it would certainly be better to think optimistically than to worry constantly. Unfortunately, it is not that easy to stop the brooding. Because the basic problem lies somewhat deeper and is based on the perfectionist desire to have life and the world under control.
Thinking: for love of detail?
Because many perfectionists want to control a situation by being aware of it as consciously as possible. So you're trying to gather as much information as possible and to shed light on all facets of a problem. In doing so, they approach minor aspects of a problem themselves, as if they were important things where it is worth knowing every detail. They want to understand everything thoroughly and remember everything later. Therefore, they scan their surroundings for every little bit of information that might be useful to them now or at some point. Yes, some perfectionists are superstitiously convinced that the cosmic accountant spares them unpleasant surprises if they only deal with a problem and all its details for long enough.
However, a problem arises from this love of detail: at some point the brain stops participating. This is shown by psychological studies. Too much thinking creates a feeling of losing control. Pay attention to what happens the next time you find yourself pondering: At the beginning you may still have clear thoughts and your opinion is relatively certain. Then you have first doubts that lead you to look at the matter from a different perspective. Because the longer you think about what you could do differently in this or that situation, the more you move your thoughts back and forth, the more your brain has to exert itself. Therefore, the longer you think about the problem, the more complicated you feel about it. And you find it increasingly difficult to come to a result. This increases the impression that the situation is not under control. Your self-confidence wanes, you become more insecure.
Stop thinking or ponder a problem?
So even if you can't ponder a solution to a problem straight away, leave it at that. If necessary, think about the topic again at another time. Because if you continue to ponder, you will have more and more doubts, which in extreme cases you can no longer turn off, yes, the thoughts seem to become independent. On the other hand, if you give your brain a break, you will occasionally be surprised to find that the topic has resolved itself.
A very simple but effective way to stop brooding is to stop the thought, which takes about 15 seconds. It serves to make you aware of when you are slipping into brooding and to deliberately break through this pattern of thought by countering the brooding with a conscious reaction. Try the exercise below for a month so that you gradually learn to consciously perceive your thoughts and control your behavior.
Freeze of thought - how it works!
Get a rubber band that fits comfortably around your wrist and slide it over your right or left hand. Whenever you find yourself pondering, pull the rubber band apart an inch or two and snap it back. At the same time you say in a loud voice:"Stop!"
If you are not alone, say it softly but forceful