Living the Dream
In order to live our dream, we must first get rid of the bullshit that’s holding us back and identify what our dream actually is. Sometimes we over complicate our dreams. We dream of a big home, lots of money, mojitos on the beach, but they aren’t really our dreams. Those are often disguised as the need to feel important, to have security, and to not feel guilty about relaxing.
If you have a big home that’s empty, is that your dream? Or is it a reflection of how you feel? If you have lots of money but more debt and no real human connections, is that also your dream? Or is it now a fear? At some point the mojitos will get old and life will become meaningless. What do you do then?
Often people mistake their goals for ideals. They set goals based on what they think will give them what they want. Not on what they actually want.
Tony Robbins preaches the six core human needs as a means of understanding what we humans are really seeking. This is strikingly different to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. The six core needs can help us gain a clearer understanding of what is the motivation behind our goals. To deepen our understating of why we want what we want can increase the likelihood of achieving the goal. People can be guilty of getting upset over goals they didn’t really want and fail to get because it reinforces a deep seeded belief of them being faulty and absent of the ability to see things through to the end. They didn’t want the goal, which is probably why they didn’t get it, but then it also strengthens a limiting belief they have of themselves and drives them further away from their true goal as it strengthens the thoughts that tell them they don’t deserve it. We don’t get what we want; we get what we are willing to receive and what we think we deserve.
Understanding the six core needs can help us strengthen our why, and in some cases even realize that what we say we want isn’t really what we want and then change course accordingly.
The six core human needs that we seek to fulfill are the following:
Personality Needs
Certainty
•The need for safety, security, comfort, order, consistency.
Uncertainty or Variety
•The need for change, surprise, the unknown, challenge, excitement.
Significance
•The need to feel important, to have meaning, sense of self, worthiness of love.
Love or Connection
•The need to be a part of something, to be accepted, to feel wanted, to feel loved by and cared for.
Spiritual Needs
Contribution
•The need to give back, to care for, to deepen meaning, leave a legacy, protect, and serve.
Growth
•The need for continual improvement and development of the mind, body, and spirit.
The first four of the needs are personality needs, and the last two are spiritual needs. When broken down, every goal we have falls under one of the above categories. They may be communicated slightly differently; for example, someone may say they want to be accepted rather than stating they want to feel connected. Knowing this is crucial for us to not only set worthy goals but to also deeply understand why it is important to us and, conversely, if it isn’t important to us.
A good example of this would be somebody wanting to start a business. Let’s use the fitness industry as the example. They set out wanting to start a gym and making a positive impact in people’s lives. The reason behind this goal could be the following:
Certainty: to have contro