Part I
THE DUKE ARRIVES
I
The local directory is a useful institution to the stranger, but the intimate directory of suburbia, the libellous"Who's Who," has never and will never be printed. Set in parallel columns, it must be clear to the meanest intelligence that, given a free hand, the directory editor could produce a volume which for sparkle and interest, would surpass the finest work that author has produced, or free library put into circulation. Thus:—
AUTHORIZED STATEMENT. PRIVATE AMENDMENT.
KYMOTT CRESCENT.
44. Mr. A. B. Wilkes. Wilkes drinks: comes home
Merchant. in cabs which he can ill
afford. Young George
Wilkes is a most insufferable
little beast, uses scent
in large quantities. Mrs.
W. has not had a new dress
for years.
56. Mr. T. B. Coyter. Coyter has three stories which
Accountant. he *will* insist upon repeating.
Mrs. C. smokes and is
considered a little fast.
No children: two cats,
which Mrs. C. calls"her
darlings." C. lost a lot of
money in a ginger beer
enterprise.
66. Mrs. Terrill. Very close, not sociable, in
fact,"stuck up." Daughter
rather pretty, but
stand-offish—believed to have
lived in great style before
Mr. T. died, but now
scraping along on £200 a
year. Never give parties
and seldom go out.
74. Mr. Nape Retired civil servant. Son
Roderick supposed to be
very clever; never cuts his
hair: a great brooder,
