CHAPTER 1
AM Mayhem
HAPPIER MORNINGS MAKEOVER
“Our mornings are all about me yelling at our kids (ages 6, 7 and 12), ‘brush your teeth, comb your hair, and eat your breakfast’. It pains me to hear the words that come out of my mouth, ‘What’s taking you so long?’ ‘What’s the matter with you? Hurry-up! You’re so slow.’ ‘How many times do I have to ask you to put your shoes on?’ We need clear strategies to help us get out the door without the stress.”
Mornings are hectic for many families. Kids may dawdle and be slow to get dressed. Mom and Dad may be getting ready for work. Setting up routines that help children independently accomplish their morning tasks will limit the chaos, stop the yelling, and bring peace to your home.
We also need to make an effort to communicate face to face with our children in the morning. We cannot parent from the kitchen or the couch. Take the time to walk up to your children and give them direct instructions up close. Be personal, loving and clear. If you are yelling from another room, “Get dressed!” you are not setting up the scene for a happy calm morning.
Our children feel stressed, worried and scared when we are in the habit of rushing in the morning. This can make everyone defensive, angry or anxious.
WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP?
As parents, we set the sensory, emotional and behavioral tone in our families. If we do not manage our time effectively, complete enough tasks the night before, or monitor our task lists, we are often rushed, forget things, and yell to get our kids moving. You can set the tone for asoft entry into the day’s activities by managing your time well. Your own intensity impacts the moment. Are you feeling calm and prepared or rushed? We can slow down and feel better prepared by spending a few minutes each day by planning out what needs to be accomplished in order to begin the day peacefully.
On a day when you need to go to work early or the children have a day packed with activities, get everything ready the night before. That includes the items you will be taking to work, what the children will be taking to school and all of their changes in clothing or necessary equipment for their daily activities. The most common reason families feel rushed in the morning is that they are left running around finding needed items right before trying to get out the door.
Transitions can be challenging for everyone. When you consider all the task demands the morning brings, it’s common for families to feel stressed-out.
DEVELOP ROUTINES
Developing family systems and routines to get tasks accomplished is sure to help. Begin by sitting down with your children and having them write (or draw) out their morning, afternoon and evening routines on a marker board or sheet of card stock to hang on their bedroom doors. This provides your children with visible reminders of theirto do list.
Next, make sure that your children have the tools for morning success readily available. Ask yourself if your kid's clothes are out and ready to put on when they first get up? Are the backpacks packed and by the door? Are the lunches made and ready-to-go? Take the time the evening before to help
