The counselor initially discusses the responses to the quiz with each person separately. In subsequent sessions, the couple will review their reactions to their partner’s responses.

The practitioner makes interpretations based upon clinical impressions and the participants’ history. Most responses are easy to interpret, but each situation is unique and may trigger further exploration and guidance. When psychopathology is detected, the counselor should help motivate the person to consider individual psychotherapy.

The following interpretations are suggested as a guide:

1. Are you satisfied with yourself?

Answering in the negative shows honesty. Many people are not completely satisfied with themselves. They recognize that there is room for improvement.

If you feel truly satisfied with yourself, either you are among the most fortunate who have evolved to their potential, or you fail to recognize your faults, or simply accept them. Or perhaps you are putting on a false front for your partner. Accepting yourself may be a positive quality, as long as friends and associates have no serious complaints about you.

2. What do you like about yourself?

Hopefully, more than two good qualities are listed. If not, either you are too hard on yourself, or you fail to appreciate yourself sufficiently. You may be expecting too much of yourself. Your self-esteem may need a boost.

3. Have others told you that they admired those qualities, too?

If so, you have validation, a substantial reason to feel good about yourself.

If not, then you may not see yourself clearly, or you may not have heard the applause.

4. What would you like to change about yourself?

Does the desire to change come from your partner’s complaint? Do you agree? If you don’t agree, or aren’t motivated because you think it will take too much effort, this is likely to be a source of friction and should be resolved before you take the relationship further. However, if you’ve arrived at this decision independently, it is a goal you can accomplish with your partner’s support and encouragement.

For example, if you would like to lose weight or to firm up, you can do it if you’re willing to exercise at least three times a week and maintain healthy eating habits.

Smokers, drinkers, gamblers and those with other addictive behaviors often respond to self-help groups using the typical 12-steps format. The key to change must start with you. Support comes from others.

Sometimes it may take a medical emergency to propel someone to change an addictive behavior. Others are so hooked that they ignore the serious consequences of their addiction. I knew a woman with emphysema who could not quit smoking even after she had to use a breathing machine. She hobbled around with the cumbersome oxygen apparatus and continued to smoke. Her husband, her children, and her friends pleaded with her to quit. Her physician repeatedly cautioned her about the grave consequences to her health. A friend gave her a gift of a series of hypnosis sessions. She willingly submitted to the sessions, but alas, her smoking addiction won out. She died at fifty-five years of age. If she had tried to stop smoking early on, it might not have been so difficult for her. This true story shows the overwhelming power of addiction. It is best