: Lynda Bevan
: Life Without Jealousy A Practical Guide
: Loving Healing Press
: 9781615999019
: 1
: CHF 4.50
:
: Partnerschaft, Sexualität
: English
: 124
: DRM
: PC/MAC/eReader/Tablet
: ePUB

Ask' yourself... Do you feel the need to be frequently checking up on your partner? Are you suspicious when you meet new people? Do you often question your partner about where they are going and who they are seeing? Do you withdraw from your partner without giving an explanation as to why you are doing this? Do you make all of the social arrangements for your partner's life? Have you ever feigned illness to keep your partner at home? Are you frightened of being unable to survive without your partner? Do you examine on your partner's phone records, emails, or text messages 'just in case'? Do you put your partner down over small details or infractions of agreements?
If you answered YES to more than one of these questions, then this book is for you.
This is the book to help you overcome this unwanted emotion. You will embark on a journey to discover the many types of jealousy. You can use this book as a manual to overcome emotional insecurity issues and to give you a clearer perspective on the emotion of jealousy. By engaging with the exercises with this book, you'll be able to see yourself as you really are and further exercises will assist you in eliminating your jealous thoughts and behavior.
'I truly feel that every individual who is dealing with issues of some form of jealousy will greatly benefit from readingLife Without Jealousy by Lynda Bevan. This includes people who are not jealous themselves but are being affected by others who are. Learning to understand it, overcome it, and gain effective new ways to communicate will greatly improve the quality of our lives.'
--Paige Lovitt,Reader Views
'It is hard to believe how much useful information the author has packed into this slender tome.'
--Sam Vaknin, author ofMalignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited FAMILY& RELATIONSHIPS / Love& Romance
Psychology : Emotions
Self-Help : Abuse - General
2What is Envy?

How does envy differ from jealousy in a relationship?

  • Jealousy supports the fact that you want to keep what you have. It is a righteous indignation that “what's yours” stays that way.
  • Envy is the desire to own something that is not yours.
  • Envy can be seen as a mild jealousy which can be a route to improved capabilities. The term used for this is “creative envy.” It is part of a process to improve by putting pressure on yourself to develop new skills.

Some suggest that the main difference between these two words is the involvement of athird party. The jealous person wants all the attention to be on them, but a third party in this equation would rob them of this attention. The third party is seen as a predator and a rival, and the jealous person will be very unhappy if the person they are jealous of gives any attention to the third party.

Another common distinction between jealousy and envy is that envy is the desire for somethingin general (more money), whereas jealousy is the desire to have somethingin particular, and to take it from someone else (one is jealous of a friend's girlfriend/boyfriend).

Envy begrudges another person's success, possessions, and lifestyle, even if they earned it by their own hard work. You may remember that the seven deadly sins are anger, covetousness, envy, gluttony, lust, pride, and sloth. Envy is the age-old monster that motivated Cain to murder his brother Abel. According to the Bible, it's an evil that leads to quarrels, fights, disorder, and “every vile practice.”

“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”

James 3:14 (KJV)

Envy Rots the Soul


When you see something or somebody having what you yearn for, the envy you feel squeezes the very life out of your being. It highlights the dissatisfaction that you believe that you haven't got what you want in your life. This can happen at any place and time. Envy holds no boundaries, but strikes with a powerful force. Envy is one of the deadly sins and is named such because it can cause serious emotional and physical damage to yourself and others. It acts like a cancer, eating away at the very core of your being.

As Proverbs says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot” (Prov. 14:30, ESV). When envy strikes, it takes away your logical, lateral thinking pattern and instead you become irrational, unreasonable, paranoid, and out of control; and you display warped thinking. Shakespeare called it “the green-eyed monster.” Envy destroys relationships. What does envy do to you; how is it displayed?

Here are some examples of what you may become…

  • Spiteful
  • Resentful
  • Obsessive
  • Competitive
  • Arrogant
  • Paranoid
  • Unhappy* Distrustful
  • Dissatisfied<