The commitment to eternal love is the inner light that keeps the spark of love shining brightly—forever.

There are two essential problems we face with romance today. Both are the result of our misunderstanding. The first problem is that we lack a true commitment to it. Romance, love, is not just a physical bonding but a spiritual union. It must be approached from the spirits of man and woman, which brings up the larger issue of eternity. Eternal life or eternal love is an idea we often hold when we think of love. The marriage vow implicitly refers to this: “For better or for worse until death do us part.” But there is the thought that even through death we will find each other again. We could say “for better or for worse through life and death.”

I understand it is difficult to grasp the idea of eternal life or love. But that is not the point. The issue is to commit to it. Eternal love askseverything of us, a total eternal commitment. That is the consciousness, the spirit, that is available to us to bring to our relationship. And you know what? Nothing less will do. This is the great discovery. Nothing less will do in life and love. In fact, any relationship not based on eternal love between the sexual two is destined to fail. Why is this so? Because the commitment is not there to begin with. We actually find ourselves in an all or nothing situation. Life does not give us in betweens. Eternal love is a very simple decision, the simplest decision we can make. It is also the most immense decision we can make, immanent to all that is life.

To help clarify this idea of eternal love further, let me say that eternal love is not something to seek. Many of us fall into the trap of seeking that “perfect other.” Rather, eternal love is an internal experience that we may, if we choose, bring to our relationship. It is, I believe, the light of love that keeps our relationship shining brightly.

But before we can really commit to eternal love we need to understand one more thing, which brings me to the second problem we face with romance. And that is, we lack a recognition of the essence or soul of male and of female. Most discussions on romance or love subsume that it is the same for both male and female. It is not, for male and female themselves are not the same. They are different, in fact, opposite, and so, too, is romance different for each. Now, I am not suggesting here in any way that male and female are unequal. Let us say that they are both equal in necessity to life or creation but opposite in purpose or function. Notice thatboth a male and a female are required to bring forth life. There is a saying that I am fond of—one is not without the other; both are needed for either to be—that nicely expresses the interdependence (not co-dependence) and balance of male and female. With this, we truly need to understand the fundamental difference between male and female, for only in thatsexual difference